Page 4
by Gaylord Morrisen
A new protest group is
pushing hard to have all forms of
two-wheeled transport banned
from our city streets. Following
the successful banning of bicycles
from Liberty City a few years
ago, American Road Safety for
Everybody (A.R.S.E.) has been
pushing hard in recent weeks to
get motorcycles banned from the
city. ey quote some chilling
statistics to support their case,
although some believe they may
have made these up. An A.R.S.E.
spokesman told the Liberty Tree,
“Motorcycles cause more deaths
per year than old age. ey are the
number one killer in our city and
must be banned.”
He continued, “If the city
doesn’t take action, then we the
people are going to have to start.
People on motorcycles are trying to
kill all of us, so we at A.R.S.E. say
it’s time to fight back. All bikers
will be treated as fair game going
forward and every civic-minded
citizen is encouraged to knock
these killers off their motorcycles.”
A.R.S.E. was founded thanks
to a generous donation from the
Maibatsu Corporation of America.
e car giant yesterday unveiled
plans for its next generation
of cars and trucks, including
the Monstrosity, an SUV that
promises, “It will revolutionize the
suburbs” and is expected to hit the
streets sometime in 2001.
ere were some technical
issues at the demonstration as the
prototype had to be filled using a
gasoline tanker and was running
partially on jet fuel. A minor
fire broke out but only a couple
of people were hurt, only one of
which is likely to be permanently
disfigured. A.R.S.E. continues
its fight. ❖
“People on motorcyles are
trying to kill all of us, so we
at A.R.S.E. say it’s time to
fight back.”
“MOTORCYCLES KILL
KIDS AND MUST BE BANNED”
SAY PROTEST GROUP
